Day 1: Life-Change

Hello, this is JD.

This blog, while it may serve as some sort of inspiration for someone that has been/is going through a similar situation, is mostly for me.

I feel the need to write about some of the things that I've been going through recently. This isn't for sympathy, trust me. It's so that I can move past some of the demons that have been haunting me and get on with my life...

I went through a pretty brutal break-up about 6 months ago, and have been since trying to get my life back to the way it should have been all along. Needless to say, the process has been long, arduous, and fraught with mishaps. To be completely honest, I feel like this moment is the first time that I actually recognize myself.

I have done a lot of soul-searching recently, and I have been looking to find the root of the problems in my life. Well, I finally had an honest-to-God epiphany about the whole situation today, and all that it took was a 3-hour walk, and a good hard look in the mirror.

I've been numbing myself to all of the things that went wrong over the past 3 years. I've been trying not to think about mistakes that were made, attempting to just blur it all out in one way or another. Obviously this isn't the way to go about being a mentally-healthy person, and thus I have been somewhat of a train-wreck as of late.

The drugs, the alcohol, and the general lack of care for my body and mind has led me to this point, right as I'm typing. I can't allow myself to keep underachieving, and I can't pretend that I don't have this mass of potential inside of me. I do, and I know it. I've just been stifling all of it, trying to ward off pain for whatever reason.

Anyway, this is my point: I am officially on the wagon. I am announcing it right here and now, so that I can be held accountable by something (even if that something is only a fledgling blogsite.) You are witness to this moment.

I am better than who I've been. I am worth more than what I've been given. I will be who I want to be.

If you got to this point, thank you for reading. I seriously appreciate just thinking that someone cares enough about what I've got to say to finish this, especially given how boring it probably is.

:)